Mumbai's Mahilas: Sunaina Chotirmall
Brigid Connell (BC): Can you tell me a little bit about what you do for a living?
Sunaina Chotirmall (SC): I've been a housewife since I got married in 1984. I feel being a housewife is more challenging than your 9-to-5 job. Of course, if you work 9-to-5, you're bringing the money on the table. But I'm nurturing my children and their children. So what values I give them is what society is going to be. A woman makes a house or breaks a house. I feel, for my house, most decisions that are made boil down to me. It's like managing an office! But it's not always recognized and we are not paid.
BC: What do you do with your free time?
SC: I have a small business which I do from home; I design Pashmina shawls. I feel every woman should do something, some work if she has time, either at an NGO or where people really need you. When we lived in Japan I started working in the hospital to help old people. I would volunteer just an hour or two of my time, but even if you just sit there, they feel that someone's caring for them. I thought it was really important because loneliness is really terrible. I love going to the gym because I think exercise is a good stress release, plus it helps you focus. I'm in a book club as well. We're reading 'All the Light We Cannot See'. I also play bridge once a week, and spend time with my grandson Aarav.
BC: Your daughter said moving to Japan was one of the hardest things you've ever done.
SC: Yes! Torturous for me especially for the first year. Language was a massive barrier. I was just 23 when I got married and moved there with my husband. In Japan the community is not very friendly or warm; they're very reserved. So a sense of loneliness was there initially. And I missed my family tremendously. But I slowly started liking it and learning the language, and then it was comfortable. I was there 28 years. And now if you ask me, I would go back in a wink. I just love that place! When I moved here, my first year was really tough. It took a lot of adjustment for me. I mean, I'm from India, but things 28 years ago and things now are totally different. To move again at the age of 50, it's a big transition. At that age, you don't like to do many things, you're very settled.
BC: What is one of your favorite things about living in Mumbai?
SC: It's the people, I think. I have had good experiences. People are very happy here in India, in spite of whatever things they go through or whatever problems they have at home. It gives you a very positive attitude towards life. I love my family being here with me, which is important. And also, when I walk out of the house, I just see familiar faces around me. Indians, Indians, Indians. Before I would only see Japanese, Japanese, and Japanese. So there's a sense of being home here.
BC: Living in India, living in Mumbai, do you feel you're treated differently as a woman?
SC: No, not at all. In fact, I feel they respect me more. If I'm standing in a line, they would give room for a woman. If I said I have to do something, they would listen to me. They do give you their respect. Women are very strong mentally; I'm not talking about the physical demand. I admire all women, especially if they are working. Then they're doing the housework and they're doing their office work to bring the bread on the table, which should be really well-respected. I don't think a man can work and run the house; it would be very rare.
BC: What advice would you give to young women living in India right now about success?
SC: I think every younger girl should be educated, because more than anything, that's going to help you in the future. I think everybody should work before settling down. It's not the money. With work, you value things in life. Then when you are settled, you will give those values to your children. Even your relationship with your spouse is better because there's room for understanding. So everybody who works will have that experience, and a broad mind.
BC: What is something that you've worked on or done that you're particularly proud of?
SC: Bringing up and raising my two children; I have two girls. I'm very proud of that. Taking care of my family, family's really important. And that's what I'm going to pass on to my grandchildren. My kids, they look up to us, then they'll pass all of that on to their kids and that's the generation which is going to be in the world. They have to be the future. So if each family does that, we'll have wonderful kids and a wonderful future.
Mumbai's Mahilas is an interview series conducted by Brigid Connell, Programme Development Intern, Asia Society India Centre. The series explores the diversity and drive of Mumbai's women, both personally and professionally. All women, especially those who are leaders in their field and who create change in their communities, were encouraged to participate. Interviews cover women's backgrounds, professions, successes, interests, reflections, and advice for other women. Any views or opinions presented in this series are solely those of the individuals and do not represent those of the Asia Society India Centre.